- Last week on “Tale of the virgin Cougar”
It was around 9’O clock in the evening, the sky was lit by the splendor of the Moon and the glory of the stars, cold wind was blowing; that kind of Night was made for loving… Continue here
Welcome to the 2nd episode of ‘Tale of the virgin cougar’ Hope you enjoyed the 1st episode.
It’s around 2a.m and I’m still fully awake with my heavy heart and my clouded mind, after last night encounter I found it very hard to sleep. I have so many things to figure out, so many questions to be answered.
Should I call her or nah? What will I say when I call her? Am I getting myself a Cougar? Could she be one of those wealthy old Lagos Women Ritualists?
You know if you’ve seen enough Nollywood flicks, you’ll think about all these, because you hardly see a relationship between an Old Woman and a Young Man that doesn’t involve exchange of Destiny or eventual killing of one another. In short, Nollywood taught me nothing good can come out of having a Cougar.
Should I be scared or nah? Am I safe or nah? Do I want to see her again? Everything around me paused for a while even my heartbeat when this question popped in my mind. Do I really wish to see her again??? Hell fucking yeah! I need to confirm if everything I saw last night was true. She’s too beautiful to be Human; thoughts of how sleek and fabulous she was crossed my mind again…I was on these thoughts till I crept into the dreamland.
Here comes the morning, I was still in bed, half awake-half sleeping. You know those type of morning when you are just in bed, not fully awake but still conscious of your environment… visualizing all your thoughts, something like an illusion? It’s like you’re dreaming but it’s just the display of what you’re thinking.
I had the loveliest hallucination. I created the exact type of relationship I want with her and I was living in it, it definitely felt super good. I was still rolling deep with the ocean of my lovely hallucination till I suddenly remembered my 8am class… I had to jump out of bed and prepare for class.
Now I’m in class with my guys, we just finished the first lecture; we are trying to chill for the Second lecture. We were talking about random things when one of them asked me “Guy, where were you last night?” What will I say? Should I give them the gist, should I tell them about last night’s escapade… let me just keep quiet for now cause I’m not even sure I’ll see her again, I’ll give them the gist later, maybe when she plans to meet me again. In case I don’t make it back, they will know how to find me.
“I was in my room all night men, I wasn’t feeling too fine but I’m fine now” I thought they believed me till he said he came to check me in my room and I was not in. Sarcastically I said “Did you check under my bed?” I had to say something silly so they can get off my case.
My day didn’t go exactly as I planned, but it was not a bad day after all. I’m done with classes; I’m back to my condo (hostel) so I decided to take a shower. I was in the bathroom when the thought of calling her started bothering my mind. I was still thinking about what to say when the idea of calling her right there in the bathroom popped. I embraced it!
I know it’s not just me that does everything better in the bathroom, I’m like 10 times smarter when I’m in the bathroom, I think better, I sing better, I have better ideas, even when it comes to making love, I make better love in the bathroom.
Since my phone was right in the bathroom with me, I picked up my phone and called her. I could tell my heart wanted to jump out and run when the call went through; I pulled myself together since I’m in my Comfort Zone (my bathroom) ‘no panicking in here Nigga’.
The phone kept ringing, nobody picked. ‘Maybe she’s busy’ I thought to myself. The call almost dropped when someone picked up “Hello” hold on! She has picked…show time!!
“Hello, who’s on the line please” she repeated. I cleared my throat, I told her the Young man from last night. “Hey Young Man, I thought you wouldn’t call, I waited for your call all night last night” oh really? Was she expecting me to call immediately? Why does she even like calling me Young Man ‘I’m sorry about that; I just thought calling this evening would be better’ I don’t even know if that was the right thing to say. “Oh that’s good. I’m in a middle of something right now…this is your number yeah? I’ll text you pretty soon might not be able to call, is that fine?” She asked. Of course it is fine!! Super fine sef, I felt good maybe it’s the voice or because she has been expecting my call. I could tell she was very busy so I shouldn’t long thing again, I blustered ‘Alright, that’s good. Bye’ “Later Dear” and she dropped the call
Unconsciously, I started singing *I’m in love with the coco, I got it for the low low, I’m in love with the coco* and in my mind I was subbing the coco for Cougar. I continued bathing; I was having a nice shower. I was in the middle of this when my phone rang, could she be the one calling back? Quickly I washed my face and picked up my phone.
Look who is calling me, Vanessa X, my Ex, that’s why I added the X to her name. What does she want again this time? I picked up and heard something strange “Hey Boo, you didn’t want to pick your call shey? Are you avoiding me?” LOL, I ignored her question and acted like I didn’t hear anything, I’m not even ready for her troubles right now, so I asked her straight up ‘Vanessa wassup, what do you want?’ “ahn ahn, are we fighting ni, please can you come to my place tonight? All my roomies are going out and I don’t want to be alone in the room”
After hearing this I smiled and so did my John Thomas, there might be chance for some knacks, I thought to myself. To be sure if she wanted that I asked her ‘so what are we going to be doing alone in the room?’ She laughed, “You this Boy, come jhur, please”. Alright I’m definitely going to her place tonight, I need some action and apart from that I’ve missed Vanessa for one thing and that’s the wonderful head she gives.
“alright call me when you want me to come” she decided to make me feel not so special and said “like you have any other option, see you later Boo, I Love You” I usually don’t reply her whenever she says that, cause I know she doesn’t love me, she’s just confused. So I just said ‘Oshey Lover Girl’ and dropped the call.
Back to shower, thinking about all I’d do to Vanessa later in the day. My sweet Vanessa baby, wa fe ku laleyi.
Done with the bathroom, I decided to take a nap before tonight’s adventure. I was still lying in bed when my phone beeped and it was a text from my sweet Mrs. Victoria Williams. The text reads
“Sorry I was busy when you called, I’d be coming to see my Son this evening. Should I call you when I’m around? Will you be available?”
OK, OK, OK, what am I going to do? Who should I see tonight? My Ex, Vanessa or Mrs. Victoria Williams? Should I tell Vanessa I would be busy later in the day? Or tell Mrs. Williams something I won’t be around, wouldn’t that be rude?
What Should I do????
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